Week ONE DOWN!!!

BUONGIORNOOOOOOO FAMIGLIAAAAAA!!!!

Holy cow it feels like I haven't talked to you all in like four thousand years. I have a billion thoughts and so many things to write you so we will see how this goes. If it is super scattered and way confusing I'm really sorry. I'll do my best. 

I also just wanted to thank all of my wonderful siblings for leaving me the most heartfelt notes. I wish Abby and Ralph the best on their new adventure. I love the Dear Elders. And thank you to everyone who has written me letters. They honestly mean the world to me and I cry pretty much every time I read them haha hopefully that will change. I'm working on writing letters back, it's a little hard because NO TIME to do anything except study, but it will come. I feel sick about Grace's knee but Heavenly Father is VERY aware of her and her needs and I know that everything will work out.  ALSO mom the peonies are my favorite thing ever. They are GORGEOUS and smell so good. I cried when I got them. Thank you for being the best mom ever.

Ok now onto the week. So no one ever told me, but the first day at the MTC you're walking around and you have this little orange dot on your name tag where practically every single person screams at you WELCOME TO THE MTC!!!!! Oh I was so sick of those four words. 

My companion is from Eagle Mountain and she grew up on a farm so she's a cowgirl, but we get along really well. Her dad died of brain cancer in March and I honestly don't even know how she is on a mission right now. She also says that's siiiiiiiiiick like every two seconds and I want to just die. 

The French people are right across the hallway from us so everytime he or his companion have to go to the bathroom, I see them. It has also been a challenge calling him Elder Blackham haha. The food is nasty. Just kidding it's just cafeteria food so you can imagine what that is. I eat salads pretty much for every meal and they're pretty good so I'm fine on the food. The granola bars have saved my life and also the candy. Toward the first couple of days I felt super light headed and then every time after we would eat I just felt sick and then light headed and then sick, but it's ok now. That doesn't happen anymore. The first two days in the MTC I was totally fine. Day 3-5 were ROUGH. I fought tears like every second. I sleep in my sweats, sweatshirt, and a jacket because it's FREEZING. I'm the top bunk and they give you like this tiny blanket and I don't want to unpack my comforter, but I just got another blanket so I think I'll be set. 

Our first lesson with Antonio went really well and our second one went not really well.  As for my Italian I think it is going pretty well. I have Our Purpose as missionaries memorized in Italian, the baptismal invitation, and Moroni 10:5. I still have to learn verse four and the first vision. We also have like this sheet of at least six hundred words and phrases and I almost have all of that memorized. Madame Durst has saved my life!!!!! If I didn't take Italian before my mission I would be so discouraged and lost. It is very overwhelming, but it is coming. Our teacher is Sorella Russell. She is so awesome and served in Milan and I can understand pretty much everything she says in class, but I'm pretty sure everyone can do that now. We also pray in Italian and bear our testimonies in Italian. On your mission you say like four billion prayers a day. Basically every hour.

There are 12 people in our zone going to Rome (8 Sorelle and 4 aniziani. One of these is Anziano Pesci who Heather Chard knows really well). The other 21 people are going to Milan which is so sad. The Anziani in our district are the best people ever haha. I love them. Anziano Simcox is the weirdest person ever but could make anyone laugh and I'm pretty sure he has a photographic memory because he doesn't ever study, but can speak Italian like better than me. Anziano Moss is from Idaho and he knows Hoggan really well. Anziano Johnson (not Tanner Johnson) is also in our district. He is from American Fork and played basketball with Miles Keller I guess I don't know. They are the best though haha. I'm so jealous that Carly and Miles get all of these awesome missionaries. But Rome is awesome too haha not trying to downplay the Romans, we're obviously the best.

I am one of the Sister Training leaders of the zone. I feel very humbled at the call because there are so many other girls who are way more qualified than I am but obviously  there is something I need to learn so I am doing my best. We are branch 22 and our branch President, President Taylor is like the most strict person I have ever met. Remember when Will was describing how you get to the MTC and chew you out for being disobedient and scare you out of your shoes that you have to be obedient? My branch president to a T. 

Now onto the more spiritual side. So like I said I was really struggling my third and fourth days of my mission. Italian is frustrating and feeling like you don't have the spirit when you're teaching a lesson is like the worst thing in the world and all of that on top of missing my family. BUT on Sunday night I finally got to watch the Character of Christ by Elder Bednar and I can honestly say it changed my life. 

It changed my mission. 

If you can somehow find it, you have to watch it. For some reason in that one short week I had completely forgotten why I was on a mission and was just feeling sorry for myself. 

If you were at my farewell talk you can remember how I stressed that my mission IS NOT ABOUT ME. I don't know how I forgot that?? It is so important for us to turn OUTWARD. Christ turned outward every second of his life. He never turned outward. He talks about how the natural man is an enemy to God and that we never find Christ when we are turning inward. He talks about missionaries who come home from their missions and fall away and he told us why that is. He talked about the difference between a testimony and being converted. I have a testimony, but am I converted unto this gospel? I don't know yet. I am working on it. If you just have a testimony, YOU WILL FALL AWAY. Especially in this world of so much confusion. Conversion is between me and the Lord. I am not going to become converted because I want to become converted, but I will become converted by turning away from the natural man and this happens hour by hour and day by day. It takes work. With the strength of Christ I can do a mission. Without that strength I probably would have already gone home. It is because of Him that I get to have the sacred calling of being a missionary and helping others know how much joy this gospel brings. 

THEN on Tuesday Elder Bednar CAME TO THE PROVO MTC. It was so incredible. I will never forget this experience. Elder Bednar wrote a song called ONE by ONE and it will come out in the new era next month but it was the first time the song was ever performed live and I got to be a part of that choir. It was an indescribable experience. He gave his words and then the song was the closing hymn and I have never felt the spirit more strongly than when we all stood up so he could leave. I know he is called of God. I will never forget that feeling. His whole talk was about having an intersection with the ONE. The first words he said were, "You can do this." The Lord knows us ONE by ONE. He touched people one by one. He let people feel His wounds one by one. He knows me as a ONE. The first words Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ said to Joseph Smith in the sacred grove was JOSEPH. He knew him by name and I know that He knows us all by name. Elder Bednar said we are to go TWO by TWO to teach ONE by ONE. That is what is so special about our gospel is it is so personal. I know that there are no coincidences on the Lord's errand. Only tender mercies. I hope you all know that you are a ONE. You are so incredibly loved. During this talk I just kept thinking about my family and all of my friends. You are all loved. Try to be somebody else's coincidence. It is the most simple, but powerful message. ONE BY ONE. 

I can't tell you how grateful I am mom and dad to be able to serve a mission. It has been the hardest week of my life but I think I have learned more in this one week than I have any other week of my life. It is incredible. I love you all so much. I miss you like crazy. I can't thank you enough for raising me so that I could have this opportunity to help others experience the joy of being raised in the gospel like I have.

I want you all to ask yourselves,

Voi siete convertiti?

Have you been converted?

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! I am going to try to figure out how to send pictures. 

UNTIL NEXT WEEK

Ti amo molto molto molto motlo famiglia

Love,

Sorella Gochnour (aka Sorella Lucy G  - ps I really miss my first name haha)